Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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