He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
