i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Randomize
