i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Randomize
