It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
