we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
They have beer where we have blood.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
