Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
