i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
