if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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