Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
My ass is underappreciated
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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