I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
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