oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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