i don't like sucking hair
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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