I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
