you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
3pm strippers are depressing
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
