absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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