Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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