I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
