I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
