Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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