i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
