So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
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