i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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