Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
