i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Randomize
