i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Randomize