he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
