Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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