oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
