I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
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