girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
