Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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