For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
