right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
