We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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