i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Randomize
