I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
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