there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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