david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
