sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
