Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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