how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I enjoy the company of your penis
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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