Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize
