i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
