first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
