Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
