how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
this beer tastes like vomit already
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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