there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
