My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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