That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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