Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
hell yes lets make some ravioli
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Randomize
